I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
