I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize