Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
