Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
