whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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