when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
