I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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