Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
