So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
