How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
