I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
