We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just threw up on my dentist
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
