Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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