Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
