He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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