I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
