I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
