So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
