why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
