used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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