HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she pinky promised me she was 18
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
