We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
