Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize