yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
