there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
