I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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