I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
