there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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