He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
