Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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