I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
