We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
