There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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