life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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