I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
