She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
