question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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