i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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