My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
