what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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