Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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