oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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