Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
