i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
