I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
