Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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