I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
