Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
pop tarts are not kleenex
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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