you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
only if we run a train.
done.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
