I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize