bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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