Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize