9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize