I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
