I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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