I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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