I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
