I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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