i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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