booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
