I'm passing your future prison.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
