So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
