Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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